Panic and Panicking

Sunday: A late night never usually stops me going for an early run, but gale force winds do. The windows were shaking when I woke up and I decided not to go out in that kind of weather. I spent the day coughing when I wasn't sneezing, and sneezing when I wasn't coughing. On the bright side, my son does seem to have recovered from his infection, though still taking his medicines. So today became a rest day, something that my right calf seemed to appreciate. I was pleased to hear about my running friend completing a half marathon in 115mins, beating the (a) target of 120mins. The 'a,b,c' idea refers to (a) being the dream target, (b) being the target to push and aim for, and (c) being a realistic target. I had noted my 'a,b,c' as a rough estimate for the Salford Run in my training log on fetch, but some panic-inducing news made me scrap the estimates as they were completely unrealistic. I rang one of the organisers to ask about the route which I could not find online. The rough description I was given made my jaw drop - I have severely and completely underestimated this 5km Run. He probably sensed my shock and assured me I could sign up to do the run on the day if I needed time to think about it. I could not believe the amount of uphill involved in this race: for someone who has done 98% of running on flat ground, this was terrifying news. My 'a,b,c' times were based on my recent, though inconsistent, performances, all on flat ground. I looked up the fetch forum for the race and emailed the least scariest looking 'fetchie', asking for advice about it. She was quick to reply, and most kind, explaining that the exact route was definitely unavailable online to us and offered words of support. Her emails were both reassuring and not: I am definitely panicked, wondering what the hell I am doing, I will end up finishing hours after everyone else, and it will be the worst day. I am in two minds to just give up, perhaps that's the fear talking though; I can't believe I didn't realise how difficult this Run is going to be, and to think I thought myself well on my way to doing two 10km races within two weeks of each other. This 5km Run is freaking me out and it shouldn't, I am supposed to be enjoying this, but right now, my running confidence has never been lower and the panic levels never higher :o(