Working Through The 'Dip'

Wednesday: Family commitments always come first and it looked likely I wouldn't be able to run, but I managed to negotiate some time for it. My personal trainer had demanded an hour long run today but there was no time for that. I was enormously excited to run today, because it was raining :o) But of course, as luck would have it, the rain stopped completely by the time I got out to run! The run started off well, a lot of adrenaline since getting the time to run was hard and precious, so I ran like the wind. However, perhaps it was too fast, I couldn't sustain the speed, but I thought, no matter, slow down but got to keep going. Since time was tight, I had to go back home via an uphill route, which was very tough, and pretty much finished my run. It was like yesterday, I felt faint and the legs were giving way, even though it wasn't a hot day. I covered 1.56miles in 15mins 02secs. I was hugely disappointed not to run for at least 20mins, it feels ridiculous, when I know I have been able to run non-stop for at least an hour in the past. I don't think it's as much as case of having lost my 'running mojo' as something else. I know I am motivated, I know I am focused when I run, I have doubts it is a psychological issue. But at the same time, I am trying to address every physical issue - I am drinking lots of water, increasing my salt intake, eating healthy, getting more sleep etc. A friend suggested the tonsil infection I had has hit my fitness/stamina levels harder than I realise, though I am so reluctant to blame everything on that (I am used to not being well for a few days every few weeks, I've still managed to get fitter over these past few months). It's difficult for me right now, this 'dip', I hate not running like I used to. Tomorrow is a rest day, as I am busy with the interview panel, so the next run is on Friday. Plenty of time for contemplation, rolling up sleeves and growling at my recent form. Got to keep thinking positive, as I am always telling my injured runner friend, and know I can get through this (cue Rocky music).

Lost My Running Mojo?

Tuesday: First run of the week, interval training - 6 x 3min runs at 10km pace, followed by 2min recovery jogs. Sounded simple enough. A very hot day, I was again dragging myself to get to my run but as usual, once I started my warm-up walk, I was eager to get going. I tried setting my mobile's alarms to go off after each 3min run but this was apparently too complex for the mobile phone, and it was a little time-consuming, so I had to rely on keeping an eye on the time myself. The last few runs were in my loose running bottoms, which are looser than usual (wahey) but make it difficult for running, as I constantly pull them up (grrr), so I was out in my capri pants today. Not a good run, I underestimated how difficult it would be, and underestimated my body today. I had to stop before the 4th interval ended, covering 2.01miles in 19mins 50secs. After 10mins, my body started to slow, I tried to slow down in general in response to feeling faint and dizzy, but it didn't help much. I was stumbling and my eyes were closing, very similar to how I felt during the Great Edinbugh Run :o( I was so disheartened to feel like this but perhaps I was underprepared, in terms of hydration and salt levels. I spent the rest of the day drinking lots of water and upping my salt levels, napping too, to prepare myself for tomorrow. The next run is supposed to be on Thursday but I will be busy all day, sitting on an interview panel, interviewing candidates for receptionist positions. So, tomorrow is a running day, '20mins easy run', but I know I need to do more than that. It sounds strange but have I lost my running mojo? I don't feel as motivated as usual, though I am always keen when I start my run, but I am not running like I used to. I still feel really determined, though, perhaps a lot of runners go through 'dips' like this. After my run, I came home to something that should motivate me further... (to be continued) ... :o)

Week 4

Monday: The training programme had today as a rest day. Tomorrow will be my first session of interval training, 3min fast runs followed by 2min recovery jogs. It looks a bit complicated, well, it isn't really, just seems like tomorrow will require a lot more concentration on times. This is week 4 of training towards the half marathon, the aim as always is to stay on top of the programme. I've been thinking about which charity to run for; I spoke to my daughter's school teacher about raising money for a sick girl in her class. She had a brain tumour and is currently undergoing chemotherapy. She's the same age as my little girl and it brings it home harder :o( The teacher will speak to the girl's father on my behalf, about either raising money for her or for a charity that supports them. My runner friend voiced concern over the issues over raising money for a person and not a charity (being open to suspicion and accusations from people, or that the family may feel I didn't raise enough). It's a shame that we have to consider such things but it's a harsh reality, I guess. I will wait and see what the girl's father says. I would so love to make a positive difference to that little girl's life, and if my running can make a difference, it's not in vain and it goes beyond what it does for me.

Negative And Positive

Sunday: An incredibly windy day, I woke up feeling no desire to run - is this a bad sign? I just wanted to sleep, though I had slept plenty, really. Something kicked in and I dragged myself out of bed eventually. I took Powerade with me, knowing I hadn't drunk much water the previous day and may well need the hydrating. It was a difficult run, much like the previous run, I felt like I wasn't running in my own body. I felt heavy and slow, though I was surprised by the time I did, covering 2.38miles in 20mins 37 secs. But I ended the run in a bad way, lost of control of my breathing, feeling dizzy and generally awful. I was disappointed to have not made it to 30mins. I turned to go home, then turned back to try and run again. I managed around 4mins then had to stop, my legs were feeling wobbly (a tightness in my left calf was worsening) and I felt I was risking something stupid if I carried on running. I was quite upset by this but the walk home was long so I had time to adjust to it, think over what happened and think ahead. I was so disappointed with myself though, some very negative thoughts went though my head, thinking the half marathon was too much for me and so on. It's a huge challenge, and I am falling behind in my training every week, and if I keep this up, then I can't physically do the race, I will be so underprepared for it. However, I need to (somehow) think positive, I am officially entered and I have put in a lot of hard work these last few months. I have chosen a solid programme that should prepare me well for what the race demands of me. Plus, I plan to do this for charity and this will be my first race with my runner friend. There are so many reasons I want to do this, I mustn't let myself get too down over minor setbacks. I have a motivation plan in motion, which I can't discuss at the moment, but suffice to say, it ought to boost my confidence and my excitement levels, imminently :o) Got to get that Rocky tune back on my mobile, 'flying higher...' ;o)

Thigh Ache And Things To Come

Saturday: An incredibly late night, seeing in the official start of summer, meant I was too tired to run this morning. The legs were aching today, and the backs of the thighs in particular niggled. I haven't felt my thighs ache since back in January/February, am used to calves being the problem area. Perhaps due to the week off running? Whatever the reason, I tried to rest today, and ignore the feelings of 'complete newbieness'. The tiredness is still there, over the smallest of tasks, and I happily indulged in some junk food in the evening, fed up with the healthy eating at the moment, which leaves me feeling no more energetic than if I had stayed hungry. The plan is to run tomorrow, and that would mean I had missed 2 training runs this week, out of a possible 4. I received my half marathon confirmation in the post, much to my delight and nervousness (a mix of both really). No backing out now, I am entered :o) It's also exciting to be doing the race with my friend, and of course, it will entail going back to my beloved Scotland, which is a cheering thought. Before then, a lot of running to do!

Back To Running

Friday: Although a walk/run was planned, I had to drag myself out of bed for the school run, and I left the house with no intention or desire to run. But it was driving to school and listening to 'running' music that motivated me to return home after the school run and change for a run. And I am so glad I did. It was very windy today and I had low expectations, this being my first post-tonsil infection run. I didn't carry a drink, I didn't expect to do much. The run was strange in some ways, the legs felt heavier than usual and I felt really slow. It almost didn't feel like I myself was running, as if I was in another body, alien to me. I stumbled now and then, quite awkward in my running style, I felt. But there was a general consistency, nonetheless, and I manged to cover 2.18miles in 23mins 46secs. This was pleasing, doing over 2miles after having not run for a over a week. I've missed training sessions but at least I am getting back to it, got to keep going, and not give up, because sometimes it feels like going on is too hard. But somehow, got to keep focused and determined, not let a few missed runs get me down.

Making Plans

Thursday: I managed the school run again but had to nap after, I didn't have the strength to keep myself busy like yesterday. I didn't expect this infection to hit my energy levels so hard. The throat is pretty much back to normal, still taking the antibiotics (when I can remember) and trying to keep up my water intake. By evening, I decided I needed to go out tomorrow, even if just for a walk. The great trainer texts are weighing heavy on me, I need to be training harder for the half marathon. I haven't as yet received confirmation I am doing the half marathon and so will be getting in touch with the organisers soon about this.