Negative And Positive

Sunday: An incredibly windy day, I woke up feeling no desire to run - is this a bad sign? I just wanted to sleep, though I had slept plenty, really. Something kicked in and I dragged myself out of bed eventually. I took Powerade with me, knowing I hadn't drunk much water the previous day and may well need the hydrating. It was a difficult run, much like the previous run, I felt like I wasn't running in my own body. I felt heavy and slow, though I was surprised by the time I did, covering 2.38miles in 20mins 37 secs. But I ended the run in a bad way, lost of control of my breathing, feeling dizzy and generally awful. I was disappointed to have not made it to 30mins. I turned to go home, then turned back to try and run again. I managed around 4mins then had to stop, my legs were feeling wobbly (a tightness in my left calf was worsening) and I felt I was risking something stupid if I carried on running. I was quite upset by this but the walk home was long so I had time to adjust to it, think over what happened and think ahead. I was so disappointed with myself though, some very negative thoughts went though my head, thinking the half marathon was too much for me and so on. It's a huge challenge, and I am falling behind in my training every week, and if I keep this up, then I can't physically do the race, I will be so underprepared for it. However, I need to (somehow) think positive, I am officially entered and I have put in a lot of hard work these last few months. I have chosen a solid programme that should prepare me well for what the race demands of me. Plus, I plan to do this for charity and this will be my first race with my runner friend. There are so many reasons I want to do this, I mustn't let myself get too down over minor setbacks. I have a motivation plan in motion, which I can't discuss at the moment, but suffice to say, it ought to boost my confidence and my excitement levels, imminently :o) Got to get that Rocky tune back on my mobile, 'flying higher...' ;o)