Positively Persevering

Friday: Feeling positive as I set out for a short run (time constraints), but the run wasn't as great as expected. The sun was incessant, whilst very cold winds blew, my ears freezing into ice. I had Powerade with me again which did help in the short run. I covered 2.53 km in 18mins 6secs. This was a strange run, as I expected to perform for longer after a decent rest. But my body felt heavy and tired today, not helped perhaps by a few hours' sleep, and running felt a real struggle. At least I got some uphill incuded and the main aim is to stay above 15mins, as the program advises. However, my head wants my body to do at least another 40mins this week. I am busy this weekend, as my brother is visiting and we are off to watch a football match on Sunday, plus I need to organise my running around the kids. Today's run was disappointing in some ways but I don't feel as negative as I have been feeling. I think I need to sleep more, get more rest so that the body can recharge. The expectation is that the body should perform a lot better after rest, though my body doesn't always follow this. At least the right calf appears to appreciate the rest, it didn't bother me much today.

Easter Holidays Begin...

Thursday: Rest day as the kids' holidays begin. The right calf and knee feel pretty normal, rare feeling but a welcome one. A lot of deep thought today about the Salford 5km Run. I received some good news on the study front, I passed the last two courses I did. It improved my spirits somewhat; now I hope to achieve something with regards to my running.

Easy Running and Improving Moods

Wednesday: Woke up this morning not wanting to wake up, despite 7hours' sleep, and I seriously considered resting instead of running. However, my mood was slightly more positive than in previous days, so off I half-dragged myself. Still no hat and the sun shone strongly, the positivity was draining fast. But I decided to take things easy, it was my third day out in a row, which my program advises against, so I could afford to relax today. I ran for 19mins 33secs, covering 2.66km, and I would have kept going if it wasn't for my shoelace coming undone; I continued despite it for a little, but a voice in my head nagged me that I would regret it if I injured myself needlessly. I drank some tropical fruit-flavoured Powerade during the run, which tasted good, but it was undrinkable outwith the running. Also, I attempted talking while running, which was the challenge I expected it to be, and I don't plan to make a habit of it. My breathing wasn't as controlled as it should have been and I became out of breath faster as a result. After my run, I walked for a long time, covering around 4-5 miles. At the end of the day, my right calf aches and feels stiff, but I know a longer run would have meant it would be feeling worse. Tomorrow is a definite rest day, as my daughter is home for the Easter holidays, and my son will be off from Friday. It will be tougher to negotiate time for running in the coming fortnight but I am optimistic I can find a way. Rest days may become regular, in line with the training program, so I am preparing myself to accept those days will be beneficial to my right calf in particular. I've noticed for the last few weeks that kneeling to see to the kids for even a short time, causes me to half limp when I get up, as the right leg stiffens completely. The feet are starting to blister and ache more, but nothing serious at the moment. I plan to buy sports socks to help the feet cope, as the organic cotton pairs I currently use are feeling too thin and unsupportive as time goes on. Next running day should be Friday, all being well. And I found my hat, the least flattering one of the two I have, but at least I won't be feeling so naked on Friday :o)

Less Panic, More Run

Tuesday: Hatless again today and the weather continued to grate, not the cold so much, more the incessant sunshine...nothing boded well for today's run, but perhaps there is no such thing as an omen. I left my bottle of water in the car, considering my breakfast as fuel enough for me. As with yesterday, I gave the 5km race route another go, making my target the top of the hill. With yesterday's mistakes assessed, I paced myself better and planned to stick to the doable target set. Having reached the top, I decided to keep going, see how far my body could go, and much to my surprise, I managed to hold on and do the entire route, though fetch is calculating it as 4.33km. I am either making a mistake with tracing part of the route or I am measuring inaccurately online. Whatever the situation, I timed myself at 30mins 53 secs, which was a lot better than I expected. The downhill helped me to keep going and get some of my breath back, though the last stretch is flat and it was incredibly tough to find the energy for it. I didn't feel a high on finishing the run, I think the uncertainty around the exact route still bothers me and I didn't know whether to be pleased with my time or not. I went for a very long walk around the park afterwards to relax; despite an intense run, I felt anxious and stressed. This is not completely due to running but I guess I need to deal with keeping a mental focus on running when I am doing it and not let other things ruin my performance. My head was aching after the run which has never happened before, and my hands were trembling, though this was more due to lower blood pressure. The right calf had felt a little stiff and heavy at times during the run, but nowhere near as troubling as it can be. Perhaps the last few rest days have had a positive impact on it. I planned on tomorrow being a rest day, after two days of tough running, but considering the kids are going on hoidays from nursery and school, I know running time will be precious over the next couple of weeks. So it's best I get some running in tomorrow. The plan is to avoid all uphill tomorrow, which might sound contradictory to my previous thoughts, but I know I must be careful not to overdo things. I will use tomorrow's time to build up my endurance and get some more mileage under my belt; my drink of choice will be Powerade, which has been so highly recommended to me, and it gets a try-out as a race drink tomorrow.

Smacking The Panic

Monday: After the great panic and stress of yesterday, I was determined to use today's session to go around the Salford 5km Run route, as described by one of the organisers. It was a little cold today but annoyingly sunny. I had to go out without any headgear, having lost both of my hats, and this ruined my mood somewhat, as I feel naked running without a hat on now. I had a bottle of water with me but it proved hard to drink as I ran. Anyway, I perhaps ran too fast initially, I was still quite worked up over what the hell I was letting myself in for. I managed 15mins of running time, and the distance cannot be measured with 100% accuracy on fetch since not all park pathways are mapped out, but I calculated I covered approximately 2.16km. As I dreaded, the uphill was steep and plentiful, and I stopped on flatter ground after the uphill. I wanted to keep going, but I had strong sharp pains in my back, on the left side, which began around 13mins and I really struggled to make it to 15mins. For most of that run, I had been gasping and wheezing anyway. I have had a cough for a few days and a lot of catarrh in my chest, which made it harder to breathe properly. In the morning, I thought I had coughed it all out, I even vomited a small amount, and felt a lot better for it; but running and breathing in the cold air made me cough again, so obviously it wasn't over. Hence, hitting 15mins made me feel like death, but I managed to keep walking. There were lots of paths and I retraced my steps at one point but I managed to vaguely figure out the route for the Salford Run. My stopwatch informed me I did it in 44mins 12secs (including the 15mins I ran). My attempts to map out the route I took measured it as 4.5km, half a km short of the official race length. Having gone through the estimated route, I don't know what I expected to feel, but what I do feel is less panicked and more disappointed with my progress so far. There is a lot more work to do than I previously thought. I really need to do more uphill running, I can't keep cheating like I have been doing. Also, I should be running that race route as practice for the real thing, an opportunity I won't have for the Great Runs. I'm trying to approach this in a rational and practical fashion, otherwise I will fall apart from the sheer terror. The fetchie I emailed yesterday, emailed me again, encouraging me to stay strong and offering kind words of support. I felt awful about my email to her yesterday, full of incoherent and hysterical rambling; I just need to get a grip and a sense of perspective. Tomorrow is another running day, got to keep trying and got to accept there will be good days and other days when you just want to adopt the foetal position and scream hysterically. Hoping tomorrow is the former, obviously.

Panic and Panicking

Sunday: A late night never usually stops me going for an early run, but gale force winds do. The windows were shaking when I woke up and I decided not to go out in that kind of weather. I spent the day coughing when I wasn't sneezing, and sneezing when I wasn't coughing. On the bright side, my son does seem to have recovered from his infection, though still taking his medicines. So today became a rest day, something that my right calf seemed to appreciate. I was pleased to hear about my running friend completing a half marathon in 115mins, beating the (a) target of 120mins. The 'a,b,c' idea refers to (a) being the dream target, (b) being the target to push and aim for, and (c) being a realistic target. I had noted my 'a,b,c' as a rough estimate for the Salford Run in my training log on fetch, but some panic-inducing news made me scrap the estimates as they were completely unrealistic. I rang one of the organisers to ask about the route which I could not find online. The rough description I was given made my jaw drop - I have severely and completely underestimated this 5km Run. He probably sensed my shock and assured me I could sign up to do the run on the day if I needed time to think about it. I could not believe the amount of uphill involved in this race: for someone who has done 98% of running on flat ground, this was terrifying news. My 'a,b,c' times were based on my recent, though inconsistent, performances, all on flat ground. I looked up the fetch forum for the race and emailed the least scariest looking 'fetchie', asking for advice about it. She was quick to reply, and most kind, explaining that the exact route was definitely unavailable online to us and offered words of support. Her emails were both reassuring and not: I am definitely panicked, wondering what the hell I am doing, I will end up finishing hours after everyone else, and it will be the worst day. I am in two minds to just give up, perhaps that's the fear talking though; I can't believe I didn't realise how difficult this Run is going to be, and to think I thought myself well on my way to doing two 10km races within two weeks of each other. This 5km Run is freaking me out and it shouldn't, I am supposed to be enjoying this, but right now, my running confidence has never been lower and the panic levels never higher :o(