Under Doctor's Advice

Friday: I was raring to go running this morning, as I am not used to having 2 consecutive days off. Another rather hot day in the city, I decided that my usual cotton lycra training gear would not do so I wore my pink race top and lycra pants. Hat on head for the scorching sun and Lucozade sport (raspberry flavour, which it turns out, I wouldn't recommend) in hand, I had a new music playlist set up in advance. I parked the car in the park and walked round the park as a warm-up. As planned, I then set off from outside the park, to run in the streets. It was challenging, as expected, having to negotiate around pedestrians and traffic lights. Getting nearly run over by angry cars on more than one occasion was a little nerve-wracking; running in the streets demands a different type of focus and determination indeed. I set off well, though perhaps too fast, with hindsight, and sipped my drink at intervals. However, I started to feel faint again and very tired, far too early for my liking. Having reached a good distance from the car and feeling the legs give way, the decision was made to bring the run to a premature end. It was incredibly disheartening, I questioned how much of this was psychological and how much physical. It brought back the disappointment I felt during GER and I was in quite a state. There were no benches, as my park has, to rest, so I walked slowly back, chastising myself over today's poor performance. I covered 2.59km in 17mins 56secs, being unable to reach the low level of 18mins felt very frustrating. As I got closer to the park, I decided I was rested enough to do another burst of running. This time, I didn't time myself, I ran very slowly, trying to focus back on the time when I began running for fun, because it felt like fun was a very faraway place. This was my worry when I signed up for races for the first time, that I would lose the enjoyment of it all if I took things seriously. It feels like lately, there hasn't been much fun or a sense of achievement, which isn't easy to bear. I enjoyed that short run, it was nice not to think about targets or races, it was just me having a run and enjoying it. Having been concerned about feeling faint and light-headed, I rang the doctor's on reaching home and was lucky to get a last-minute appointment for this morning. I spoke to the doctor at length about my running, how I felt during GER and again feeling faint today. He didn't seem too concerned until he took my blood pressure and was definitely concerned by how low it was. He said it shouldn't be so low considering I had ended my run over an hour ago, and it explained why I felt so weak and low in energy. I had pretty much known that my blood pressure was low but was surprised that it was at a level that concerned him. He ordered blood tests, checking out my liver, kidneys, thyroid, bladder, iron levels etc, to rule out certain things as a precautionary measure. He said it would do no harm if I took iron supplements instead of the multivitamins I currently take. I also asked him about my recent hair loss and hair thinning, though he seemed to think it was hormonal and just a phase, as hair goes through different stages, apparently. The main things he advised were lots and lots of water, around 2.5 litres, and to increase my salt intake, to raise the blood pressure. Dehydration worsens the low blood pressure I am susceptible to, so got to work on that. Also, apparently a banana and a glass of water don't constitute breakfast, I was hungry during the run, so need to be more sensible about a proper breakfast (milk permitting). For lunch, I generously sprinkled salt over my rice and boiled eggs in addition to the meal. Though it felt good for a while, I felt very lethargic again so rested during the afternoon. It's not very nice at all to feel like this, as if I am hollow inside and walking about as if in a daze, not quite 'with it', but hopefully the blood tests will come back clear and hopefully hydrating properly and consuming more salt should fix my body. There is good news from my friend, whose injury was possibly very bad, but should be back to normal in a fortnight or so. Hearing this is a huge relief, no runner would wish an injury on another, it's a nightmare indeed. I plan to do the half marathon and the full marathon with my friend, and it will be both challenging and fun to share the race training journey with someone. The entry forms for the half marathon are being posted to me and I should be entered for it by next week. As much as this low blood pressure business is getting me down both mentally and physically, I need to look forward and focus, because running has very much become a real part of my life, which I would not want to be without :o)

Unexpected Rest Day, Looking Ahead

Thursday: Personal commitments took priority over a training run, and I wasn't too concerned as I know I am able to negotiate running time on weekends, which previously seemed impossible. I felt a lot better today, after a decent amount of sleep and sipping water throughout the day to keep hydrated. I was craving crisps, which is rare for me, and I bought a packet, though it left me quite thirsty. Lots of water followed, it was another hot day in Manchester. I stayed in my training gear all day as I went about getting things done, wearing my GER t shirt with some pride. Feeling a little better, slowly, about the race, I know I did my best, though the walking still gnaws away inside. Wearing the t shirt made me realise I did a 10km and I ought to be proud for getting through it. A few months ago, running for 3 consecutive minutes was a huge achievement for me, and I now have 2 races under my belt, the third in over a week's time. I plan to hang up my medals in my bedroom in plain view, I need them to motivate me, and remind me I am doing well, even when it doesn't feel like it. I was very much in the mood for a run late afternoon, the legs were aching to move faster, though the brain was saying 'thank goodness we won'r be running in the scorching sun' :o) I saw many runners on the streets today, sweating and red-faced, nice to know I am not the only one, hehe. I registered with the Edinburgh Marathon organisers today, to do the marathon next year. They will send me an email when entries open and my friend says the first 500 are guaranteed a place. Right now, the idea of me doing a marathon is laugh out loud-able, but it is quite an exciting thought nonetheless. When I turned 26, I was very overweight and gaining weight, doing little or no exercise; by the time I turn 27, I hope to have done a hat-trick of races, a 5km and two 10km races; the thought that I will have completed more races, but most importantly a half marathon and a full marathon by the time I turn 28, that is hard for me to believe but it's also hugely exciting. Tomorrow is a definite running day, there is little time left till GMR and I need the training. Feeling optimistic right now and looking forward to my future running.

Rest and Relaxation

Wednesday: A planned rest day and it was rest I needed after a near all-nighter. Felt a little off-colour today, very fatigued, perhaps it would have been wise to have had 2 rest days before going back to training. Still feeling very faint by late afternoon, I set about upping my salt intake, boiling an egg and making chicken soup to re energise. After this, I felt a lot better. The problem, or not, is that I can often eat a meal and not be too bothered about having little salt in it, as long as there is enough spice and other flavours. The other half tends to add salt to meals, as I have been reducing the amount of salt in my cooking for the sake of the kids, and most of our meals are homemade. I wonder if this has had an impact on me lately, that I don't always add more salt to my plate, so my salt intake has been decreasing. It is possible that my blood pressure was extremely low after 6km on race day, which made me feel so dizzy and faint. The more I think about it, the more it seems that is a possible factor. I had breakfast as normal that day, a bowl of cereal, and I was careful not to drink too much before the race, but then, I could speculate maybe I didn't drink enough and dehydration was a factor in me feeling unwell. During my stay in Edinburgh, my mother cooked all the meals and she keeps salt levels low due to her and my father both having high blood pressure (age and weight related). I think I ought to see a doctor about this, my low energy levels and this blood pressure business. On the running forum, someone mentioned they took magnesium supplements to help with energy. I currently take a multi vitamin every day and will be seeking advice from the doctor as to what supplements, if any, I should take, and which foods are best to help me, the natural way as it were. Today was a very sluggish day, early night tonight, as a good night's sleep must precede a training run.

First Post Race Run

Tuesday: Back in the park, back to training. It was a very warm day, very sunny, we seem to be experiencing summer come early at the moment. Today's run wasn't very good at all, I was in a rush this morning and left the house to run on an empty stomach and quite thirsty. This kind of mistake was okay when I first started running but not anymore. It was a struggle to run today, possibly still tired from the race and yesterday's train journey. I did 2.29km in 15minutes, perhaps too fast as usual, though I was conscious of keeping it slow. Running today brought back memories of the race, mostly the worst part when I had to walk, and that was most unhelpful. Lessened my enjoyment of being back in the park. After my run, my right calf ached strongly, which wore off as I cooled down. When I got home, the post arrived and with it came my race number and pack for the Great Manchester Run. It felt a little exciting to be preparing for another race again, but there is a great deal of dread in my heart, due to feeling so disappointed with myself last time. I was definitely underprepared, the more I think about it, I know I didn't do enough long runs for training, due to my focus shifting onto the Salford 5km Run for so long. I didn't follow the programme properly closer to the race, I got used to setting my own targets after getting ahead initially. Stupid mistakes, one might say 'schoolboy errors' but cursing myself repeatedly is definitely not getting me anywhere, much as I have tested it out. I guess this learning curve can be steep as well as gentle; the mistakes I have made seem so glaringly obvious sometimes but I suppose many runners must also go through what I do, the trials and the joys must be common. There is less than 2 weeks to the next race and I am determined to fit in long runs despite approaching the technically 'taper off period'. Once GMR is over, I intend to plan my series of races better, in proper accordance with a programme and not just sign up left, right and centre, as I am sure my excessive spontaneity is aggravating my loss of enjoyment right now. Trying to keep a sense of perspective though, at least I am injury free (touch wood) and each of my races has me taught me a great deal. Looking forward, I am making plans to do the Glasgow Half Marathon in September with my currently injured friend, who will hopefully be back in the saddle, as it were, and training for this begins in June. Also, I have been dared (yes, reaching new heights of maturity with dares...) to do the Edinburgh Marathon (yes, Full Marathon) in May next year, by said friend. I had been thinking about that anyway as a long-term aim, well, it is now pretty much set in concrete (I won't hear the end of it) and I am on course to go back to the 'home ground' to do a marathon in 2009 :o) This was an idea I mentioned in passing to family when I was in Edinburgh and they all back my new-found enthusiasm for running; the weight loss had been noticed and gently praised, much to my (rather selfish) delight. But back to the here and now, time is ticking and much to do for GMR.

Journey Back To Manchester

Monday: I awoke with the expected aches in my legs. Today was a case of packing to go back home. A short trip to the seaside for the kids was nice, walking on the beach. The legs seemed to really want a walk. Still a sort of anti climax after the race, though I wore my medal on the train home. I had toy medals for the kids to keep them happy, which they wore on the way home too. It was a long weekend away indeed. I think I would like to come back for more races in Edinburgh, family issues and financial issues permitting. Very beautiful city, and blessed with ver warm weather whilst I was there. Today was a rest day due to travelling on the train and also having just raced yesterday. Training run tomorrow, back to it, as GMR is less than 2 weeks away and I have a metaphorical mountain to climb. I will critically review my race performance back in Manchester.

Great Edinburgh Run - Race Day

Sunday: Less of a sleepless night than for my first race, I awoke to my alarm playing the Rocky theme tune. I went early to the Meadows with my younger brother and whilst I felt I was too early last time, it felt good being early this time. There were a lot of tents to see, a great atmosphere was building up, and it was relaxing walking around without being in a rush. I wore jogging bottoms and a zipper over my racing gear, and stripped off shortly before the race (learning from the first race). I made sure I went to the bathroom before my warm-up and whilst chatting nervously to my brother, was nearly late for my warm-up. The organisers had a professional on a stage doing warm-up moves to music which was a lot more fun than it sounds. It was a very good warm-up, I felt more prepared as a result. At the starting line, I handed my hat to my brother, as some rain was predicted, and it was quite cool. It was strange being surrounded by so many runners (10,000 in the race this year) but my nerves were much calmer having some race experience behind me. I was in the final wave and was very pumped up to go, hearing my name read out on the loudspeaker (thanks to my brother) was both surprising and motivating :o) I struck up a conversation with someone while we waited but she was with others and moved off, which was probably a good thing, I didn't plan on talking and running. The race started off great: there was a gentle breeze, the runners were spread out, good music on the earphones, the body felt energetic. I had a mobile in one hand (doubling as music player and stopwatch) and a Lucozade sport drink in the other. I had a yellow wrist band from the Nike tent which listed the times I should be reaching to get to 75mins for the race; it was a great feeling to see me beating each target in the beginning. I kept slowing myself down at times, knowing I was going too fast, bearing in mind I needed to last 10km. It was fairly flat and downhill initially, hence I was fine, sipping juice at intervals. It felt great to be running through Edinburgh, familiar streets and buildings, seeing lots of people dressed up for charity, crowds cheering us on. A friend was positioned at the 4km mark and I looked around to wave but on seeing a tv camera, I ducked and hid behind another runner, thereby missing my poor friend who was apparently cheering very loudly for me :o( It was after this that things started to go downhill (in the metaphorical sense). I approached a very steep slope, very steep by my standards, and I didn't expect it, not having seen it on the drive round the course route yesterday. I slowed down, kept my head down, since looking up was scaring me. There was a drinks station there, though I already had my drink. I received a text from my friend which disrupted the settings on my mobile, though I am fairly sure I saw I had done 5km in 25mins, which delighted me. But this was far too fast for me, in terms of endurance for a 10km. My body slowed down, I kept going but the uphill felt never-ending and the 6km-7km part saw many drop off like flies. It was getting hotter and more humid, the predicted rain never came. Despite drinking lots of juice to re-energise me, my body started to let me down. I tried keeping a slow pace to let me get my breath back but I was wheezing uncontrollably, and started to feel dizzy and faint. I noticed funny looks from other runners, the expressions of the race marshalls. Still kept going, I was adamant I wouldn't walk for any part of the race. It got to the point, I realised I was running too much with my eyes closed, nearly bumping into people, my legs were giving way, and I was moving towards the race marshalls, perhaps subconsciously, because I knew I was moments from fainting. It was a terrible feeling, an internal struggle between the part of me that was crying out that the body needed to be listened to and the part of me that was desperate to not give in to walking. It was with huge regret and many tears that I slowed down to walk, but pushing to walk as fast as possible. I was unable to time how long this was and it is slightly a blur, my head ached and my vision wasn't clear for a while. I kept sipping the juice, to get me back on track. There were more, though shorter, uphill slopes but the walking had helped. The cheering crowds were motivating and thinking of my injured friend, I forced myself to get a grip and enjoy the race, to be glad I was there. Once I accepted I had to walk, I enjoyed myself more, it was a beautiful course route. Seeing the 800m sign was a huge relief and I tried to speed up towards the end, though there was hardly anything in me left by that point. It was a great feeling to run the last few hundred metres, the crowds were cheering wildly for all the runners, and they had a guy dressed up as Elvis, singing Viva Las Vegas (!) I was grinning stupidly after the 800m sign because, as luck would have it, the Rocky theme tune started up on my mobile, and it was an enormously wonderful feeling. I crossed the finish with my arms up, like they do on tv, hehe, relieved to have made it to the end, I was ecstatic :o) I handed in my timing chip and collected my goody bag as I left, the Meadows was packed, even though I was with the last wave. I rang my friend in jubilant mood, looked around for my family, and savoured the moment. It is just as well, as it pretty much was the moment that was savoured, and not much else after. I wanted to stay longer and take in the atmosphere, but the kids and my family were keen to leave, which added to the post-race anti-climax feeling. They had a lot of errands to run so I spent the afternoon driving around with them, instead of resting or enjoying my post-race glory. I was exhausted by evening, and hungrily tucked into fish and chips from L'Alba D'Oro, which tasted heavenly. I received a text from my friend that the race times were online, which I was eager to know since my mobile had stopped timing me. My time was recorded as 71mins 01secs, beating my 'b' target of 74mins, and close to my 'a' target of 69mins. The time itself pleased me but I couldn't help but wonder my time if I hadn't walked. I may not have finished if I hadn't walked, I know that deep down, but my heart doesn't feel anywhere near the pride it felt for the first race. It was a good day generally, I did enjoy the race more than last time, much much more. But I can't help but feel disappointed with myself for walking. It's even more disappointing knowing the disappointment of others. My brothers didn't care about that, they were surprised and pleased I finished and that I was still walking at the end of it all. It was nice to have that family backing but my mood was still rather downbeat all evening. I felt for my friend who was unable to run due to injury and I kept going over the race in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong. I had heard much about the anti-climax feeling and experienced it today, though mine was more deep-rooted in my own sense of failure to achieve personal aims. It felt disappointing to feel disappointed, I wanted to be jumping up and down over my first 10km, I had been over the moon and bouncing off the walls over my first race. But it's difficult to feel pleased when I didn't run the whole race. All I can do is analyse the race and move on, learn from it, for the Great Manchester Run in 2 weeks. Today was good day really, some very good moments, hopefully the next race won't make me feel so disappointed with myself.

Pre GER

Saturday: A difficult day in some ways. I had a pre-race jog for 10mins 29 secs,but unable to measure the route due to bad planning. It wasn't a good run, running into dead ends and the mobile dropped on numerous occasions. This was supposed to be my confidence booster run,but obviously it wasn't. I bought a new race top which was over budget but I liked it a lot, and it was a proper running top. Full sleeved, adidas, pink, clima lite race top - it felt good, which was important. Very despondent for friend being unable to race tomorrow, wondering how I would feel if I was in the same position, and the answer is 'impossible to live with'. Nervous about tomorrow, though having a race under my belt helps, as does the thought of doing it in Edinburgh. Had a drive round the course route, which helped my nerves. Nervous about being underprepared for this, but trying to be pragmatic; this is my first 10km so all I can do is give it my best, plus I have another 10km in 2 weeks to improve on the first, learn from mistakes. Feeling a mix of confident and nervous, remembering the first race is not entirely helpful,hope to find some enjoyment doing this one.

Journey To Edinburgh

Friday: Travelled to Edinburgh, after an 'all nighter' (no sleep). Arrived safely with the kids, though on arrival, discovered I had forgotten to pack my race top and training bottoms. This is easily solveable, a shopping trip is planned before the race for a new top. Received awful news about my friend being involved in an accident, thankfully nothing too serious, but it means missing the race on Sunday :o( This was hugely disappointing news, but the main thing is that it wasn't too serious an accident, it could have been a lot worse. It made me think a lot about how fickle fate can be, am hoping I can make the race, having spent so much time, money and effort making it to Edinburgh. Not as excited about the race at the moment but feeling determined to do it. Today, coming back to Edinburgh feels like coming back home. Hope this will inspire me on race day.